Lucky Rebel

Saturday, sun's out, and the table is set up on the lawn. Backyard Ping is a 3D table tennis game played in the neighbours' gardens, where the wind gusts, one plank of the table is warped and the dog wants the ball as much as you do. How to play 1. Slide a finger left and right anywhere on the lawn to move your bat. Returns are automatic when the bat meets the ball. 2. Flick up while dragging for pace and topspin. 3. Watch the windsock. When it flashes pink, a gust is about a second and a half away, so move to where the ball will drift. 4. Hang back when a ball lands on the warped plank: bounces there kick sideways and up or down. 5. When a ball rolls off the table, tap the dog before the timer runs out, or it trots off with the ball and the point. Five gardens line Primrose Lane: the Front Lawn, the Allotment, the Patio, the Treehouse Yard and the Summer Fête, with four neighbours in each. That is 20 matches, from Gran Ivy in her slippers to Big Sal, winner of sixteen fêtes. Games are first to 7 on the Front Lawn and first to 11 everywhere else, win by two. Each garden blows harder, warps more and has a nosier dog, from Biscuit the beagle to Pickle the dachshund. Win by a quarter of the target for two rosettes and by half for three, with 60 rosettes to collect. Clear the Patio and Uncle Kev invites you to the BBQ Cup, a three-round knockout from the quarter-final to the final. Your winnings go to the shed: five bats, including Cricket Willow, Deckchair Stripe and the Fête Trophy Bat, four balls such as Marmalade and Lemon Drop, and four table tops, including Picnic Gingham and an Old Oak Board. The scrapbook keeps your rosettes, cups, longest rally and twelve awards, such as Good Dog for shooing the dog ten times. Settings add a landing guide, gust alerts, haptics and drifting clouds. Backyard Ping plays fully offline: no account, no adverts and nothing to buy. Put the kettle on, and serve.