URMYMVP: Your biggest fan

He is your biggest fan, and this is his show. Mini is a pink jellybean with a mustache and star sunglasses, and he thinks you are the greatest person alive. He tells you so in his own recorded voice, faster and louder as the LOVE-O-METER climbs from Tiny Crush to LOVE COMA IMMINENT. When it fills, he faints. A narrator takes over and reads the incident report into the record while he is out cold. Then he gets up, having learned nothing, and starts again. SEASON ONE Twelve episodes, one a day, from the day after you meet him. Your fan discovers he is not on file anywhere, founds a Bureau to put that right, and takes on Form 1-A (74 pages, no hearts allowed). There is a hearing. The shoebox presides. THE CERTIFICATE Come back ten days running and he makes it official. You stamp the certificate yourself by holding it down. ALSO • More than 900 lines, each one written and recorded for him. • Tap him. He can take it. Barely. • When the narrator calls for it, shake the phone to bring him round. • The big moments buzz in your hand. • Send his card or his certificate to the one person who needs to see it. • Season One can send one quiet notice on days an episode is waiting, only after you say yes. • Turn his voice off or tone the motion down from the menu. • No signal needed. Everything he says is already on your phone. He needs no feeding, no cleaning and no walks. He only needs you to show up. No ads, no purchases, no account. Nothing listens to you. He lives on your phone and goes nowhere else unless you share him.

The first Android release. All of Season One, every recorded line, and the certificate on day ten.